Write this down

It is no secret to my friends that it would totally freakin' rock if we could all join comedic forces and write a novel that would be turned into a major motion picture. We would base a fictitious story with real life and sometimes embarrassing experiences.

This week has been full of interesting quotes. Here's just a few ditties to chew on:

"I need sex so bad I can't stand it, but not enough to have sex with my ex husband."

After a lengthy conversation on how and when Edward turned Bella into a vampire, "I can't believe we are talking about this. Can we go back to talking about sex or something."

"Mary Kay ladies are the Jehovah witnesses of make-up."

"He's a nice guy, but I think he smokes the pot."

"Her email address on her resume is 'dashowstoppa'. What show is she stoppin' anyway? Good God, and yahoo is free."

"I saw a woman in hot pink hot pants and a toddler tee shirt that had hot momma bedazzled on the front. I felt like a construction worker staring at her. I almost ran into the person in front of me."

"That is a biggest mullet I have ever seen on a woman."

"Don't you cross your eyes at me. If I smack you on the back of your head your eyes can stick that way. Didn't your momma ever tell you that."

"Do you see that over there? (referring to a gentleman with a white man's afro) It looks like a topiary. I want to decorate it and put it on my front porch. Maybe a magnolia bloom or something seasonal for Christmas."

"You are going to hell. Well, you are going to be right there with me."